“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one”

Rising Apes, Falling Angels

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”

Open Your Mind

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

Brain of Clay

Artsy Muddocks

Mud Muppets sell mud, which in some parts of the universe is also known as ceramic art, pottery, claywork or some other amalgamation of such technical, orphic and esoteric words.

Artsy Non-Muddocks

Mud Muppets also create things that may not involve mud. Sometimes they are mystically inspired to make non-muddocks art, such as oily paintings, metally works, and bananas.

Wholly Unfair Trade

Crafted with blood, sweat and tears, artsy muddocks are a byproduct of the slavery of the Mud Muppets, tiny golem-like creatures trapped in eternal and slightly soggy purgatory.

From a Galaxy Far, Far Away

The precious mud is fired in in the burning Pits of Blagsabolaralith on the planet Rog, south of the great dust nebula and very close to a large but mostly uninteresting interstellar cabbage patch.

To an Earthly Existence

Mud Muppets have been known to use wormholes in the fabric of space-time to send artsy muddocks to Earth, where they are strangely revered by a select subset of the human life form.

Supporting the Species

Mud Muppets hope to be compensated for their efforts. Precious metals and small green leaves used to be accepted but now beer, bacon and zippy-zappy electronic payments are preferred.


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

It is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

About Mud Muppets

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Zaphod Beeblebrox

From a planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, Beeblebrox is a “semi-half-cousin” of Ford Prefect, with whom he “shares three of the same mothers”. Because of “an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine”, his direct ancestors from his father are also his direct descendants.